I've been on the blog site a few times, but I have not had enough umph to get it updated. We are having fun getting everything into order for Thanksgiving. Thank goodness for holidays since it puts a fire under us to get things done around the house. We have repainted in the kitchen, bathroom and living room. We got new furniture for the living room, I painted by worn kitchen table, repainted my living room lamps. Now if I could get myself into that kind of order it would be great.
I'm really excited for Jeff and his family to get here for the weekend. Jeff says that Ty is so excited he can hardly stand it. Believe me I feel the same way. I know it's harder for Ashlyn since she doesn't have anyone to hang out with when she is here. And her being a teenager only adds to the boredom of grandma's. Just hang in there Ashlyn I love having you around even if you get bored. Of course - Annie has requested a trip to see Harry Potter - and she knows that is a top priority for me. Who else can be as big a Harry fan as me - well I think Crispin is getting close, but Annie loves the story almost as much as me.
We are missing having the Chase's here this year. This is a first year in a long time that Kendi, Chris and their family will not be here. Kendi will be heading to Utah for Katie's funeral, but will be spending a special Thanksgiving day on Saturday with her family. It will be wonderful for them. I'm very glad that she has the opportunity to go to the funeral and spend a little time up there with Grandma Bingham. We would all be there in a heartbeat and would be if we could be there.
My thoughts are getting to be more and more jumbled every week. I can't hardly get the thoughts from my brain to my hands correctly. Playing the piano is getting to be a bit of a challenge because of the same thing. Signal to hands must have a short.
Well I'm whined enough so i figured I give you a view of the changes we have mad in the house before I leave. Have a thankful holiday season. Remember you are loved my us as well as by your Heavenly Father. Life is eternal and those who leave us behind will be there to greet us when we return home. What greater joy could we have.
Here is what our work is looking like:
We had a great Thanksgiving, and had most of the kids here. We missed the Chases and their happy family and Tim and his crew (they are coming for Christmas). But we did have fun with those that were here. We are definitely getting big enough to start feeling the differences in families. I sure miss mom and dad - they could have given me advice on how to proceed at this stage. I did finally through out all the leftovers. I'll remember next time that we can't eat as much as I think we will.
I figure that my old adage of "Life sucks and then you die" is really true. I have tried so hard to keep the kids getting along and be as stable as I can without getting out of sorts. I lost it this last week though. I had been out of meds for over a week and I definitely fell apart and did not cope well after a couple of days. I sure hope that doesn't happen again. I love being with the kids and sharing our lives, but I'm sure I didn't do a very good job this last holiday. I know that I hurt feelings and made some of the kids feel unloved and for that I'm sorry. It wasn't intentional and I would never want them to feel that way. I love each one and love my grand kids more than I can explain. I wish my girls could see into my heart and see and fell what I feel for and about each of them. If they can remember that how they feel about their kids is how I feel about them only more because I have had many years to learn to love them and help them grow.
I know this is a long post and you have probably given up by now, but I do still have a little more to say. Kendi you are a blessed mother. I am so proud of you and your family and how you have grown and taken care of the things you have faced. You are a good example to your sisters and those around you. Know that I love you. Jeff you crack me up. You make us laugh when no one else can, except maybe Rusty. You have always brought happiness and joy to our family. I love you and your family and wish you were closer so that we could spend more time together, but life does go on and we have to do what we must to take care of our families. Tim, I want you to know that you have grown more than I would have imagined. I never thought that your moving to NY would change you so much, but you have grown so much and you are such a good man. Keep it up, Dean and Noah are watching Rusty is the one I'm worrying about the most now. I hate to see him struggling to get things back into order. I pray for your continuing happiness and growth. Remember that I love you and nothing will change that, but I also have a desire to see you return to what you have been taught about the gospel and eternal life. I know it's hard to get back when you have been away for awhile, but don't let it get in the way. Rachel please remember that I love you and your kids. Yes I may complain about the mess they make, but I love them more than anything and want them around more than I care about the mess. I would never want you to stay away or feel that I don't love you as much as I do the other kids because I do. I have watched you grow and become the person you are today. You are a tough girl and I know you can get through anything because you are like me when it comes to survival and I'm proud of you. Megan my baby. Sadly once a baby always a baby. Ask Joe he knows. You are a good mom and keep me moving and involved in life which I really need. I'd be sitting at home without leaving except for work and church if you and Crispin didn't insist that I do things with you.
I know I rattle on and you are totally bored, but I love each of you and I love your dad for who he is and how much he supports and puts up with me. I love the gospel and the Lord and pray for His guiding hand in all that we do indivually and as families. Families are forever and I want ours to have that in the eternities. Remember that there are a lot of family already on the other side preparing for us to come and join them.
